Sunday, 18 April 2010

The universe conspires

This weekend I decided to go on the Emirates Natural History Group's outing. It's been a while since I've been able to, the timing hasn't been right for me. I was hoping to have photos to share and a story to tell tonight. Alas, I didn't read the email as well as I might have and got the day wrong. So instead of going out on an off road adventure today, I got to go shoe shopping with Mary-Anne. A rare and seldom photographed event. Might I add a very successful event.

Kate was keen to come on the trip too, into Oman and off into the wilds. We were both disappointed, although she chuckled at my small error. I've actually done this once before but don't tell anyone. That time I got to the meeting place a day early and sat there awhile before I realised that maybe I had it wrong. I could redeem myself, I went the next day and enjoyed the outing without confessing.

So the weekend consisted of some really good R & R, good company, both much needed and some lovely conversations with others. I love a good chat so Di obliged me for sometime until her Belgian breakfast called about the same time as my Al Ain lunch did, the wonders of modern technology. I do think that we don't talk enough to others. Sometimes assumptions are made because we think we've been understood but really haven't. That's when the art of good communication becomes vital.

I've had this happen recently, spectacularly. I've been feeling like the universe has taken all the toys in my toy box and thrown them up into the air. It's been that sort of week on all fronts hence my silence here. I've always somehow been able to share myself through writing more effectively than talking, surprising as I do talk a lot apparently. Writing is a permanent way of being heard, a way that broaches no argument. Someone always has a copy somewhere of what's been written so it can be revisited. It's irrefutable.

I'm hoping that my troublesome and stressful situation will be fixed by some good communication. I'm hoping that the good communication will be mine, it's begun and I need to be patient to see where it will lead. I've been reading a book on transference. In When the Past is Present, David Richo makes perfect sense as he explains how we take the things that have happened to us through our lives and transfer them to another person, another event. This can be a healthy thing to do, so long as we can recognise that we are doing it. Sigh and say, oh yes, I can see where that came from. Acknowledging what we are applying to a situation is important to allow clear communication.

In making that acknowledgement, we get to deal with the things that may hold us back in our lives. It's like hearing a piece of music from a past time in your life and remembering, associating those past events and feelings with the music. Saying 'I remember when' and transferring those feelings to the present time. That's mostly good and a conscious transference. I started taking notes as I was reading then realised that this is one of the few books I've read where I need to highlight statements, passages that resonate. One quote I reflected on for a while is this one:

I know I'm not seeing things as they are. I'm seeing things as I am.
Laurel Lee

So true for all of us I suspect. I'm hoping that the seeds I've sown in the universe this week will come to germinate, will enable some understanding and will mean the toys will be gently placed back in the toy box. Here's hoping because as Di shared recently on her wonderful blog:

it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
ee cummings

2 comments:

Liminal Spaces Flanders Fields -kindly supported by the City of Mesen said...

Well ... talking is a grand plan, instead of making assumptions. Makes me laugh to even write that. We were hilarious, weren't we.

Looking forward to when you arrive back in my world.
xo

Jule's Short Story said...

Lol yes, so funny that you thought I was THAT technological. I know the ask before you tell adage, I need to learn the tell so you don't have to ask one :)

Can't wait till my summer break, see you then inshallah.