Torture

Well, that will teach me for taking a week off the gym. I ducked away from work early to get to the gym, something that has been difficult lately. I can usually only go when the hunk brigade is there, glaring at this old chook using their weights and such. And no, I'm not leering while they're glaring, I'm much too classy and aloof. So today, the reports I had planned to get done completed, off I went.

What no one had told me was that the gym was closed for the next two weeks being upgraded. Normally that would not have been a problem, I could just go for a walk. Unfortunately for me there was a tide of women who swept me upstairs to the aerobics studio. Yes, I was surprised too that aerobics classes are still going and that people are keen to attend that form of torture. I thought they were a 90's nightmare of group exercise. Today it was BAT, apparently bums, abs and thighs. Even I think that I don't need to work on my thighs or bum, the abs well I am female after all. 

There I was, no getting out of it and retreating, I'd been spotted. To leave now would be churlish. I was wearing my new gym singlet too, armpits cleared and looking pretty cool, how could I leave. After doing the class, or rather the bits I could manage, I realised that retreating then may have meant retreating with some small scraps of dignity. 

Instead I tried to four cross step grapevine with a double pony at the end around the room grapevine squat up down hold add arms bring knees up back around. You get the picture, I ended up tangled up in my unco feet nearly taking out the lady next to me, also relatively new but at least co ordinated. I found that out as she managed to get out of my way in a hurry and looked at me pityingly. 

Then things got really bad. We had to lie on the floor, did I mention I hate group exercise except walking and cycling with friends out in the fresh air? Then the torture continued, raise your hips do unnatural things with your legs squeeze a ball between your knees lower up hold down change position and do the other side. I did get the giggles at one point, come to think of it the last time I tried group exercise I got quietly asked to leave with my friend Matt when we got the giggles. Yoga's a quiet thing apparently. 

So here I am at home, munching on chocolate biscuits with my coffee, consoling myself that at least I didn't know any of the people in the class. Not sure I'll go back. I will just have to find some other forms of torture to use until the gym opens again, sigh. Might get my bike out and hit the hills. Anyone keen?